Importance of being dumb - oh science...

Taking break from student horror stories for a minute I recently came across an interesting article, which I have linked at the bottom (free access) for those that are interested.  The gist of the article, which we will go into more detail about in a moment, refers to the need of stupidity in graduate school and to be successful in science.  I had an interesting applied moment when I read this in light of my graduate career so far.  I remember reading an opinion paper (which I cannot find now for the life of me) in a journal that talked about how being in graduate school makes you feel stupid, even though being in school means to some degree you are pretty darn smart.  Recently, with my comps (ideally) looming next semester I've heard more than a few talk about the need for absolute humility while taking the oral component - in short explain what you know while never appearing as though you think you know everything.  Let's discuss.

First off, graduate school does make you feel stupid.  Part of this level of education is not taking regular classes but having them as seminar or discussion - to integrate advanced topics and reasoning.  Prepare as you will, the professor will always lead the discussion in a way that you never thought of and there's always someone else that says something profound (well, it's not always actually profound, but you're little brain makes it feel that way).  You'll find yourself scrambling to write down every word and still walking away only half following what the hell just happened.  This mixes very interestingly with the societal pressure to cut the tall weeds (aka it is often socially unacceptable to be the really really smart one) and the academic pressure to weed out the scrubs (aka figure out who really doesn't know much).  Most new students are too afraid to say anything, afraid to sound stupid or to come across like they are "attacking" another idea.  So you sit, smile, and nod your head.



Of course, this doesn't last.  Here in my 3rd year of my PhD I find myself participating more often, especially in classes or seminars with a large proportion of graduate students.  Still keep pretty pursed lips though in large scale settings with lots of faculty.  I'm not really a shy person, but what do you do?  Just try.

Now onto the comps piece.  We talked a little bit about this before but for the conversation to continue we all need to be on the same page.  For a PhD student, the only way to move from "student" to "candidate" (aka even be considered for grants or graduation) is to take comprehensive exams.  This differ from department to department and school to school.  Usually there's a mixture of written and oral exams.  Some use a mock grant proposal and defense.  Others use large scale tests.  My department has a week of essay papers for the written.  Each day a different committee member (minimum of 5, and trust me that's ALL you need) will send you a set of questions each day.  They will require you to produce facts from papers you have read as well as extrapolate and apply them to the questions.  Assuming you pass these there is a day of orals, whereby you sit in front of your committee and for 4-6 hours they verbally ask you questions.




Okay, enough on that drama for now.  I am more than sure as they approach and I sink in deep for survival there will be more on that.  The point of that conversation is to move it further.  Another student in the department (with another adviser) was telling me horror stories of her first failure and her second try (you only get 2) in which she passed.  She told me one of the biggest differences was attitude.  She's a smart cookie and going into her first one felt confident.  Responding to this her committee became very aggressive and would outwardly tell her that they didn't like whatever thought process she had followed to get to an answer, even if it wasn't technically wrong.  Afterwards her adviser berated her for her performance, leading her to almost quit.



Thankfully she didn't quit and when she tried again she went in with her head down.  She was still able to think through answers but by being less confident she got more positive responses and received much less aggression from her committee (plus she passed).  Now take any story with a grain of salt but it seems to me that part of the point of comprehensive exams is to show you how much you DON'T know (or can't know YET) and look for you to show signs of humility and "absolute" stupidity.  Keeping in mind of course that these exams also look for you to prove you do know the basics in your field and would be a respectable representation of it (not "relatively" stupid).

This brings us to the paper I mentioned at the beginning of this conversation.  The author actually teases at my assessment above, stating if a student is able to answer all the questions posed to the fullest it is the committee that failed the exam.  By that feeling of absolute stupidity it pushes us to question and inquire, to keep moving beyond the bounds of current knowledge to learn and regain the feeling of shock and awe at the complexity of the universe.  If we ever feel like we know anything, then we stop learning and stunt the learning of those around us.  In the universe of science, you shouldn't feel like you know what you're doing because that's what leads to the big discoveries.  So feel absolutely stupid but know that you're not relatively stupid.  You know a lot, but you can't know everything!

Check out the article.  It's a well written essay that is easy to follow, even if you don't get into science itself per se.

Swartz, M.A. 2008. The importance of stupidity in scientific research. Journal of Cell Science 121: 1771.
http://jcs.biologists.org/content/121/11/1771.full.pdf+html-

Let me know what you think or share related experiences.  Your story can only lead to inform others coming through and make those who have felt it feel less alone.


"Do not be afraid of defeat. you are never so near victory as when defeated in a good cause" Henry Ward Beecher

TA: It's always worth it

I know the past couple of weeks I have spent so time doing a little student bashing and talking about many of the frustrating features of being a teacher.  So here I'm going to put forth some examples of students that DID care and DID really freakin' give me everything they had.  The thing to remember is, no matter how many students you have swear at you or walk out, if you have EVEN ONE that comes out a better person, that you were a successful teacher.

1. So even when a student is not necessarily successful with his/her actual grades, it is often clear when a student putting forth a concerted effort to change their path.  Student A (again, different than all the other student A's from past weeks) was a mess from the start.  He sat at the trouble lab table and after 3 quizzes was looking pretty desolate.  However, after the third quiz he actually came into my office to talk to me about it (a miracle in itself).  He wanted to go over the quiz and discuss how he could change his study habits to improve his grade and ultimately not fail the exams or class.  Not only did he come in to my office every week to study but moved tables, sitting with a group of final year nursing majors (a good find in an anatomy course-I was pretty fond of them myself).  He still did fairly poorly in the class, which I largely akin to poor test taking skills, not learning problems.  However, he was teetering on the edge of the D/C range so I was able to bump him up due to clear effort and participation. He cared and put the effort in to make a difference.  Those situations always make me care so much more AND feel good about what I do.(ps does anyone else think this button looks less than adorable and innocent?!)
2. Student B begins to put a counter balance on all the stupid excuses I've ever gotten.  I received it via e-mail initially.  It came in during class, but of course I didn't get it until directly afterward.  It had been particularly snowy this year, seemed every week for a while had the University shut down for at least part of one day.  The e-mail was not actually from a student, but from a mechanic.  Apparently, the student had slid on the ice and another car plowed right into her.  She was fine but was so worried about missing class she asked the towing company that retrieved her totaled car to contact me.  Phone, address, and manager.  Completely legitimate.  For something like this I would have probably not pushed too hard even without the e-mail but in addition when she sat in the next day's class she brought me the DAMAGE ESTIMATE.  The problem with situations like these is because she went so far beyond the call of duty, I have A LOT of trouble dealing with most other excuses! 
3. For my final piece of evidence I present to you the following image I made from an actual e-mail.  I received this e-mail after my first semester of teaching Anatomy and Physiology (second semester teaching ever).  It was a particularly arduous class to teach, most of the students were a little younger and it was partially filled with athletes that were "just wasting time until drafted."  I was exhausted and a little disheartened (this is the same class I had the plagiarism issues I referred to before).  A wonderful student sent this to me the last week of the semester (technically finals week but labs don't have finals).  Enjoy this and hopefully it lifts your day like it always lifts mine. 

Next week I've got some unusual students that give me a head tilt just thinking about! Got some happy stories? Please share! Every TA has a bad day, class, or even semester! Share the love!


"When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars. I want to have groupies." But my idea of success is different today. For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and not to give into peer pressure, to try to be something that you're not. To live your life as an honest and compassionate person. To contribute in some way." Ellen DeGeneres