TA: above my pay scale II

Alright, as promised some more stories.  These little ditties probably rate as the most astonishing and brazen students I've ever had.  Step out into the bathroom and recollect yourself between classes kind.  My advice for all of these situations? P p p poker face p p p poker face.  NEVER let a student know they've gotten to you, even if you have to be stern to get them to behave.  To a naughty student, your emotional reaction is winning and will likely feed them to do it again.  Same goes when you get goofy answers or excuses, practice your stock teacher face.  It's your best weapon.




My first semester teaching I noticed that I was having a huge attendance drop off after the mini lecture portion (aka not looking at the lab materials).  It's hard with college students since you have a little less power (but should be able to assume some degree of maturity).  Below are a list of reasons I've heard to miss class or tests.  This is through all my years but after my first semester I learned to kill that down to a much smaller proportion.

1. Student A told me he needed to get out of class early because his buddies were doing a weightlifting group.  I felt like I didn't need to say no, that is NOT even REMOTELY an appropriate reason to miss class.
2. Student B scheduled his dentist appointment over class.  When he asked to leave after only 30 min of class I asked how bad his teeth hurt. He said they didn't, it was just routine. Poker face. I told him that that will be unexcused since he opted to do it over class. Seriously?
3. Email 2 hours before the exam. Student asked to take the test in a later section of the week because he'd been busy with other classes and didn't have a chance to study.  Now I actually am very sympathetic to this concept and if a student comes to me before a test and says that a day is overloaded I'm happy to let them bump, it's all the same to me. But right before the test? Really?  Surely you jest.
4. Another student emailed me the day before the test, saying she'd had some away tournament and had been gone all weekend, therefore unable to study.  Now admittedly, I'm very UNsympathetic to this.  If you're paying to go to school to better yourself, school should come first .  Emergencies aside. I always hated being paired with these people in school.  That job is going to be costly when you have to retake courses and double your overall tuition spent because you were trying to get a couple extra bucks.  I worked through college, I get it.  But I also actually went to college.  In addition I had a student that was paying her own way through college and worked 40 hours every weekend and NEVER asked for an extension.  Given all that, I'm sure you can imagine what my response was.  She should have studied during the week or on the bus.
5. Noticed a student packing up his things after my talk was over. When I asked him what he was doing he told me he had all the materials. I told him he didn't even do the lab. He responded by saying that the class was completely optional. P p p poker face.  I told him that class was certainly not optional.  I did make a big mistake here though. About 20 minutes later I look up and don't see him. I asked out loud if he had decided to leave. Timid yes' and much quiet followed.  Yeah, that was definitely inappropriate of me.  Poker face fail.  

And the piece de resistance, the 3 worst situations I've faced.

1. For the first paper homework in one of my classes I noticed a rampant amount of textbook copying and plagarism.  I talked to the LC and got the okay to allow them to do rewrites.  I sent out an email explaining the situation.  I said if they wanted they could rewrite any questions that fit the bill and write 1 paragraph on defining plagarism and get any/all credit back.  If not, they would receive the grade from what they had already turned it.  HEAVEN ALMIGHTY!!!  You would not believe the angry emails I received, telling me what a hard a$$ I was being and that it wasn't fair they had to do rewrites over their spring break. Now bear in mind that I had to continuously grade through this whole period and it was optional. Moreover, they wanted to be told which questions were bad and worth rewriting, like it would be no time drain for my to grade, hand back, and regrade (and defeat the entire purpose of the exercise in the first place).  Besides, realistically you know if you copied text from somewhere, you're just looking to see if I noticed... I actually had a student tell me he didn't have time for this $h**.  I wanted to scream TAKE THE EFFIN ZERO THEN IT'S LESS WORK FOR ME!  It's not my fault that either they were lazy or their previous courses had failed them.  "No good deed goes unpunished. No act of charity goes unresented!"  I made a handout that I give out now BEFORE, defining it and giving examples of good answers and plagarism/copying.  NEVER AGAIN!! 
2. While grading a homework, I found 3 girls' answers to be all the same.  Now, it's always funny how much students think we DON'T notice this, but usually it's really freakin' obvious.  We read all the answers back to back AND we have the same textbook you do. Put on your try face.  Now this was particularly obvious because the answer made no sense whatsoever.  I had no idea what they were talking about and was pretty sure one of them spent too much time in the thesaurus (they think they're clever, like we have no vocab...).  When confronted, two of the girls admitted they were roommates (LEAST FAVORITE THING).  They took the zeros.  The other came in and said she had asked for help from the other two but had rewritten it.  So I asked her to explain it.. She balked and admitted she just copying the answer from a facebook message (DAMN YOU FACEBOOK!).  She said, I quote "I guess I should understand an answer before I write it down huh?"  Oh honey, I don't even think you understand the depth of this mistake...
3. I gave a pop quiz in my lab based on a reading their lecture professor assigned.  A quick 5 question quiz, general enough to just see if they even opened the book.  Now I actually don't believe in pop quizzes, and understand the panic and groans that ensued.  Luckily for them the quiz was extra credit, which they found out afterwards.  This method works well, you're like a hero.  Well almost always, one student that I would normally call a very good student apparently found the situation particularly frustrating.  In red pen down the front of the quiz he wrote, "I don't know and I don't f****** care."  Of course, he used the actual expletive.  Needless to say I was stunned.  I took it to the LC who told me there wasn't anything I could do about it but give a zero, which on extra credit really isn't a punishment in my opinion.  The kid was super docile after I handed it back.  Still, I will never forget it.

Next week I think I'll lighten the mood.  I have some good stories too.  And I'll have done some regrading so I see a "stupid things kids write" section coming soon too!  Stay tuned and please leave comments!!

"Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret." Laurence J. Peter