Applying to graduate school-The real journey begins

Step 5. Before moving to your new school.  This is going to sound lame, but seriously spend a lot of time at home.  I don't mean that dumpy little apartment that your trainer friend throws parties in (wherein you vomit off the back balcony as you recall from the previous post...) but your home home.  Mom, dad, little brother or what have you.  This may be the last time you get a chance to be a child and live free.  Things get expensive and very self-sufficient from here on out and you don't get whole summers and winter breaks off anymore.  Enjoy the babying while it lasts, trust me.



Now, if you've been following the timeline, you will likely spend 5-6 months preparing and applying for grad school, 2-5 months sweating for results, over $300 in expenses directly related to said applications (of course this doesn't include the running naked in the street bail money), and $? in moving expenses.  Not a process for the weak.  Loads of benefits, but not an easy path in life to take.

Since at this stage, you are heading towards or have finished your undergrad, here's a nice little tip list to keep your head on straight.  Basically, stop panicking because it really ISN'T a big deal and don't go through life being an entitled douche-bag.  See how politicians and political analysts act on tv?  Don't be them.  Unless you are going into that field, in which case douche-it-up because that's the only field that really pays in...
http://jezebel.com/5910701/congrats-new-grads-by-the-way-you-dont-know-anything

Before you panic and jump off the academic bus (or cliff, depends on your level of drama) remember, if you're even considering applying to grad school you obviously have an incredible amount of love and interest for what you do.  Good things in life never come easy and remember my first post-there are still a lot of fun perks that come from the process, and of course that papery degree thingy at the end that allows you to lead and do what you want in your field.  That's pretty great to.

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new" Albert Einstein

Applying to graduate school-Crocodile tears

So you've got your app in, now what? WAITING, LOTS AND LOTS OF WAITING

Step 4. Getting your response letters.  No matter how awesome you are (or how awesome you think you are...) you are going to get rejection letters.  And you can act tough, they suck.  It never feels good when you've been busting your butt at school, going out less than your athletic training major friend, and taking more hours of work than your course credits realistically reflect and then have someone say sorry, you're not good enough and all the butt busting was a waste of time.  It's not true of course, that butt busting means a lot in any competitive situation and that's all this is.  Many factors go into choosing grad students, previous work, courses, networking, and "goodness of fit," or how well you seem to match up.  I know it seems ridiculous since all this is based on a couple of emails, a crappy application, and (if you're super lucky) a phone interview.  Take my advice, open your letters (or emails or phone calls) in your room.   If it's good news run into the streets naked screaming and crying with glee (this may also be an additional expense tacked on to getting into school if you get caught though mind you).  However, if it's bad news you can recenter yourself private and cry or punch a pillow or what have you without any pity faces staring you down.



"I'm extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." Margaret Thatcher

Applying to graduate school-Applying to sell your soul

Now that we've gotten all the prep work out of the way, let's talk about what happens during the actual process.

Step 3. Actually applying to said graduate schools.  SchoolSSSS, meaning more than one.  Never put all your eggs in one basket.  On the upside, the applications usually all want the same thing.  General information, upload your UPDATED resume, and some essays.  The essays are basically all the same and are another step of prostituting out your skills.  It's always, explain how you would benefit from education at this institution blah blah.  Honestly, look at the essays first on these apps and write out responses in word files that you can copy and paste from later.  Use spell check.  And make sure that when you use the same essay for different schools you still personalize parts for each university within the essay.  AND BE CAREFUL TO CHANGE OUT SAID NAMES AND STATEMENTS FOR EACH!  You will be doomed if you make that faux pas.  The other major requirement is the letters of recommendation, usually from 3 professionals you know.  Again, do not ask your supervisor at Macy's.  Professors and teaching assistants (labs, small classes) that you had a particularly good relationship with make the best recommendations.  The same goes for any supervisors on relevant internships you have had.  Make sure 1) that you did well in their class (B or up) and 2) you had a good attitude while in class.  I have definitely had students ask for letters of recommendation that got C's or in my notes (yes, your teachers keep notes on your behavior if they know you or the class is below 30 students) it will say "leaves early" "snippy" "disinterested and refuses to discuss class information."



Don't ask!  I'm usually gentle, the few times I've said no I'll fib a little "I'm very overloaded with work right now and don't feel I could give you an accurate representation" or "I'm sure there are other classes with would be far more beneficial to your endeavor than mine."  Heads up though, others are not always so friendly so be very careful how you choose them.  Moreover, think about what field you're going into.  It helps if you have more letters from that or similar fields than your yoga instructor and meditation course.  The final kicker here is getting your transcript sent.  You need to send 1 (sometimes 2, though why any place needs 2 official board copies I don't know...) to each school.  Subsequently, when you are accepted you will need to send the final transcript (aka post-graduation showing your degree earned) as well.  These babies run about $8 a pop, not a big deal until for 4 schools you realize you need to send 7 transcripts.  Don't let it take you by surprise.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Aristotle

Applying to graduate school-Academic debris

Step 2 in our multi-part pathway, taking your graduate school exams...

Step 2. The GRE (Great Ridiculous Excess, aka Graduate Record Exam).  Taking this test once will run you about $250 (at least it did back when I took it) and the scores are good for about 2 years.  So take this seriously, you don't want to go through it twice, for multiple reasons.  Technically, the are two forms of this test.  If you're lucky, you only have to take the general test.  Some schools will also make you take the subject test (generalized-biology, mathematics, physics, etc).  Keep that in mind in thinking about the cross between what schools you want to go to and what tests you need to take.  I'm quite convinced the GRE is designed to prove that you know nothing about a bunch of menial material (similar to comps, which prove you know nothing about really important things related to your field-more on this on a later post).  My advice, just get the little Kaplan book with practice tests (http://www.amazon.com/New-2011-2012-Premier-CD-ROM-Kaplan/dp/1607148498) and 7th grade breakdown of all the major material.  Take a practice test.  Relearn 7th grade math and word association.  Panic about the number of vocab words on the list that you don't (and never will know).  The best thing I did was hang out on middle school and high school websites.  It's not that you don't know it, it's just that for most people finding the area of a shaded section in an obtuse shape just doesn't come up in our daily lives.  (Those who know me often hear me vent about a similar issue in my Calculus I course, in which we spent 3 weeks finding the volume of a deflated inner tube...).  When you go to take the test in the little computer room, the worker will be fussy and basically want to strip search you.  And no matter what, you're still going to feel like you don't know enough.  And you can't, trust me.  One of the questions on mine was "What term refers to an Amish flower printed blanket?".  Not only did I not even have a clue what the answer was, but I was left thinking, where in life am I going that this is a deal breaking piece of knowledge??


                               

Anyway, your scores come back in the hundreds and most schools, if they even post a minimum only care about the total.  Many professors will admit they don't even take it into account.  Since the test is so pricey, the only way to make the system work for you is to have you list of potential schools ahead of time.  They'll let you send to so many for free during registration, but they charge you a hefty price after just to spite your indecision.

"It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value" Arthur C. Clarke

Applying to graduate school-Selling your soul to the devil

Seems to me, the best place to start (at least for now), is at the beginning.  The application for graduate school is no less stressful than some of the stages within the degree process itself.  After getting past the idea of 2-8 more years of being a poor little student you have a long way to go.

Step 1. Looking at potential grad schools.  There are many websites through google and likely through your school that will allow you to search graduate schools by subject matter.  (http://www.gradschools.com/; http://graduate-school.phds.org/)  This is an okay starting point, maybe to find states or places in the world that tend to focus on your particular area of study.  However, in order to make any real headway here, you need to go to each of those potential universities' websites and scope them out.  Check out the grad school page and the homepage and get a feel for the environment.  Most importantly, go to the department(s) of interest and look at the faculty.  Read their little snipits about themselves and their research.  Ultimately, you're picking an advisor and topic more than you are the school itself.  When you find one(s) that pique your interest, e-mail them.  COMMUNICATE!!  This is where the soul selling begins.  You need to sex yourself up, really sell YOU in order to get attention.  After all, many times you are in very high competition.  Also note I refer to sexing yourself up academically, not in the horror movie running across the yard at night in your panties with the sprinklers on sexy.  Key difference.  In your first email, act like a rent-a-bride.  Be interested and suck up. Offer to send resume information and to chat more about what they do and where you are going. (Oh, and note: update your resume.  Basically redesign it but only list things that are relevant.  School, internships, serious jobs.  Probably your job at Macy's isn't going to matter anymore, though technically I suppose it shows you have a good ability not to throttle stupid people.  Your job at the library though, still good.).  Whatever the case, ultimately it's the faculty member that decides whether you get into grad school (assuming you pass all the basic requirements in admin for the U of course).  By the time you are ready to apply you want to have a good relationship with him/her and he/she WANTS to have you apply and use your app materials for the final decision.  Even after you have this good relationship, keep in contact every week or every couple of weeks.  Make sure you stay on their radar and use good things to talk about, publications, work, app stuff, etc.  Don't write about the weather, these people get enough junk mail and you'll likely be ignore.


Alright, this got a little longer than I originally anticipated. More to come, after all it's a multi-step process.  I'm signing off and leaving you with another deliciously dorky quote:

"Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity." Socrates