TA: above my pay scale II

Alright, as promised some more stories.  These little ditties probably rate as the most astonishing and brazen students I've ever had.  Step out into the bathroom and recollect yourself between classes kind.  My advice for all of these situations? P p p poker face p p p poker face.  NEVER let a student know they've gotten to you, even if you have to be stern to get them to behave.  To a naughty student, your emotional reaction is winning and will likely feed them to do it again.  Same goes when you get goofy answers or excuses, practice your stock teacher face.  It's your best weapon.




My first semester teaching I noticed that I was having a huge attendance drop off after the mini lecture portion (aka not looking at the lab materials).  It's hard with college students since you have a little less power (but should be able to assume some degree of maturity).  Below are a list of reasons I've heard to miss class or tests.  This is through all my years but after my first semester I learned to kill that down to a much smaller proportion.

1. Student A told me he needed to get out of class early because his buddies were doing a weightlifting group.  I felt like I didn't need to say no, that is NOT even REMOTELY an appropriate reason to miss class.
2. Student B scheduled his dentist appointment over class.  When he asked to leave after only 30 min of class I asked how bad his teeth hurt. He said they didn't, it was just routine. Poker face. I told him that that will be unexcused since he opted to do it over class. Seriously?
3. Email 2 hours before the exam. Student asked to take the test in a later section of the week because he'd been busy with other classes and didn't have a chance to study.  Now I actually am very sympathetic to this concept and if a student comes to me before a test and says that a day is overloaded I'm happy to let them bump, it's all the same to me. But right before the test? Really?  Surely you jest.
4. Another student emailed me the day before the test, saying she'd had some away tournament and had been gone all weekend, therefore unable to study.  Now admittedly, I'm very UNsympathetic to this.  If you're paying to go to school to better yourself, school should come first .  Emergencies aside. I always hated being paired with these people in school.  That job is going to be costly when you have to retake courses and double your overall tuition spent because you were trying to get a couple extra bucks.  I worked through college, I get it.  But I also actually went to college.  In addition I had a student that was paying her own way through college and worked 40 hours every weekend and NEVER asked for an extension.  Given all that, I'm sure you can imagine what my response was.  She should have studied during the week or on the bus.
5. Noticed a student packing up his things after my talk was over. When I asked him what he was doing he told me he had all the materials. I told him he didn't even do the lab. He responded by saying that the class was completely optional. P p p poker face.  I told him that class was certainly not optional.  I did make a big mistake here though. About 20 minutes later I look up and don't see him. I asked out loud if he had decided to leave. Timid yes' and much quiet followed.  Yeah, that was definitely inappropriate of me.  Poker face fail.  

And the piece de resistance, the 3 worst situations I've faced.

1. For the first paper homework in one of my classes I noticed a rampant amount of textbook copying and plagarism.  I talked to the LC and got the okay to allow them to do rewrites.  I sent out an email explaining the situation.  I said if they wanted they could rewrite any questions that fit the bill and write 1 paragraph on defining plagarism and get any/all credit back.  If not, they would receive the grade from what they had already turned it.  HEAVEN ALMIGHTY!!!  You would not believe the angry emails I received, telling me what a hard a$$ I was being and that it wasn't fair they had to do rewrites over their spring break. Now bear in mind that I had to continuously grade through this whole period and it was optional. Moreover, they wanted to be told which questions were bad and worth rewriting, like it would be no time drain for my to grade, hand back, and regrade (and defeat the entire purpose of the exercise in the first place).  Besides, realistically you know if you copied text from somewhere, you're just looking to see if I noticed... I actually had a student tell me he didn't have time for this $h**.  I wanted to scream TAKE THE EFFIN ZERO THEN IT'S LESS WORK FOR ME!  It's not my fault that either they were lazy or their previous courses had failed them.  "No good deed goes unpunished. No act of charity goes unresented!"  I made a handout that I give out now BEFORE, defining it and giving examples of good answers and plagarism/copying.  NEVER AGAIN!! 
2. While grading a homework, I found 3 girls' answers to be all the same.  Now, it's always funny how much students think we DON'T notice this, but usually it's really freakin' obvious.  We read all the answers back to back AND we have the same textbook you do. Put on your try face.  Now this was particularly obvious because the answer made no sense whatsoever.  I had no idea what they were talking about and was pretty sure one of them spent too much time in the thesaurus (they think they're clever, like we have no vocab...).  When confronted, two of the girls admitted they were roommates (LEAST FAVORITE THING).  They took the zeros.  The other came in and said she had asked for help from the other two but had rewritten it.  So I asked her to explain it.. She balked and admitted she just copying the answer from a facebook message (DAMN YOU FACEBOOK!).  She said, I quote "I guess I should understand an answer before I write it down huh?"  Oh honey, I don't even think you understand the depth of this mistake...
3. I gave a pop quiz in my lab based on a reading their lecture professor assigned.  A quick 5 question quiz, general enough to just see if they even opened the book.  Now I actually don't believe in pop quizzes, and understand the panic and groans that ensued.  Luckily for them the quiz was extra credit, which they found out afterwards.  This method works well, you're like a hero.  Well almost always, one student that I would normally call a very good student apparently found the situation particularly frustrating.  In red pen down the front of the quiz he wrote, "I don't know and I don't f****** care."  Of course, he used the actual expletive.  Needless to say I was stunned.  I took it to the LC who told me there wasn't anything I could do about it but give a zero, which on extra credit really isn't a punishment in my opinion.  The kid was super docile after I handed it back.  Still, I will never forget it.

Next week I think I'll lighten the mood.  I have some good stories too.  And I'll have done some regrading so I see a "stupid things kids write" section coming soon too!  Stay tuned and please leave comments!!

"Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret." Laurence J. Peter

TA: excuse note stories

Ah excuses, easily the biggest bane of any teacher's existence, ever.  And at the college level, we've gone well beyond, "The dog age my homework."  The tales you will hear will range from the astonishing, to downright infuriating.  Of course they're not all lies, but even the truth tellers tend to go out of their way to make things messy.



Firstly, every year you will always have at least one student e-mail you the DAY a major paper is due or a test will occur.  Always.  And it's always some variant of "I'm so busy I didn't have time to do it!"  Normally my rule is, if you came to me with a legitimate issue BEFORE said date, I will probably roll with it if it doesn't start too many issues.  Examples of complete inability of students to follow this philosophy:

1. Student A shattered his dominant arm mid week that a paper was due.  You don't really need a note for this, they show up with a cast.  So I gave him an extension to go down to disabilities resources and get help with writing.  Easy!  If he had told me the day of or day before though, hell to the no.  You shouldn't be writing the paper 2 hours before class anyway and putting if off until then certainly doesn't earn you an extension.  Of course, this kid ended up turning it in later than the extension date anyway so he still could have lost points.  Round two had no excuse besides, "I forgot!"  Regardless the paper was terrible so the score was low enough that not only could I tell he'd written in that Saturday to turn it in in the middle of the night (it was due Friday) but I couldn't even justify taking off an additional 20%.
2. Student B sends me an e-mail after hours on a Friday. She states that she is leaving for a conference in an adjoining state with her club and won't be back until late Tuesday, therefore missing the field trip we have on Monday. She says she will go to the Thursday class. So, I have two major issues with this e-mail.
1. It's a conference, which means you knew about it more than 12 hours in advance so either you are lazy and didn't bother to use a pre-excuse as an actual pre-excuse or you fibbing. I made her show documentation so it was legit, but seriously, she's known since the first week of school, what?
2. I HATE (hate hate hate hate hate) when students skip the request stage and immediately assume they can jump in where ever or just get the notes and that's just fine and dandy. As a student you are SUBORDINATE. You have to ask. And in this case we had full classes so she couldn't just pop on to another day, there wasn't room in the vans. 
3. The first week of school contained labor day, so Monday labs were missed. However, the instructor decided that all safety training needed to be done that week. Therefore the students needed to hop in to one of the other 3 labs that week or to my extra session on Friday. Student Splinter Group C ignored the requirement and the very important step of TELLING ME. 
1. Did I mention all I require is communication? You know that first day whether you will have issues or not. It's like the pre-excuse, I just don't care as much when you show me you don't either!! 
2. Anyway, I digress. Come the following Monday I had 7 students who had not only missed training the last week but ignored even talking to me about it in class. I held them after and asked why they skipped. The average response? "I just got the information from somebody else taking the class." 
3. So...I was pretty sure I hadn't certified anyone else to do safety training. I told them training is more of a piece of paper and I needed them in the training with a signature of completion if they wanted to stay in class. Furthermore, since they skipped class without discussion they received an unexcused absence.
4. I actually had a student tell me she couldn't e-mail me because she didn't have access to the internet. Apparently for 7 days. I asked if she had been on campus at all, since we have free computer access. What I didn't ask was if her legs were broken so she couldn't walk up to the instructor's or my office either, the location of which were given in lecture multiple times. Miraculous healing she must have had.

 

Next week I'll post some more serious excuse situations. Have some good stories of your own? Let me know!!

"The history of our race, and each individual's experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal." Mark Twain 

Teaching: Rules of survival as a TA

Okay, back again from a trip home.  Remember my family lives out of state from me.  Classes started today so back to the old grindstone and back to weekly posts.  We've done a lot of learny learny so let's take a break and talk about something else!

While in grad school one of the ways you're likely going to draw a paycheck is by being assigned as a T.A., or teaching assistant.  In the sciences, this generally means you run a lab and/or a tutoring session.  In total you will likely hold class about 6 hours a week, plus grading, plus classroom preparation, plus running open lab times and office hours.  They'll pay you for about 20 hours a week.  Let's just say you get very quick at grading.  I personally LOVE teaching.  Even when classes are at their worst.  This week I'm going to walk you through how a standard week for a science TA goes.  Next week I'm going to clean house with some nice do's and don't tips to help you along your journey.  This is a great topic for questions or experiences.

A week of teaching actually starts the week before.  At the end of the previous week you'll meet with your TA coordinator, your other TAs (usually anywhere from 2 to 6 of you total) and, rarely, the professor who teaches the lecture portion of the course.  You'll spend a little time making sure there weren't any major issues and the rest of the time getting the handouts and outline for the lab next week.  Although the coordinator will go over major chunks of material and go over pitfalls, they will not be teaching you the material.  Whether it's rusty, or even a little new, it is your responsibility to learn the material.  Don't panic though, you've already been through college and aside from some crap you were forced to learn that you DON'T remember there is a real benefit.  As I try to tell my own students, it's not about what you can memorize, it's about how you build your tool box that will allow you to tackle any problem that any teacher throws at you.  You absolutely have the ability to teach yourself just about anything and certainly have enough base knowledge to hack it.  I recommend making a detailed outline of the information you have to cover.  Not only will it ensure that you don't miss any major points when giving your talk but it will also make a good, discreet resource if you get a tougher question.

Alright, so then the week of teaching you'll have 2-3 sections you teach.  I personally like to break them up over the week, other TAs prefer to compound it up and do them all in a row and be free.  It's a balance and you need to decide what makes you the most comfortable.  So you teach and I won't go into any detail here and will go into lengthy tips and advice next week.  Before the end of the week you will also have to have 2-3 hours of office time, usually over 2 days throughout the week.  This makes for great grading time as students tend not to show up so much to these.  They come a lot right before the test and right at the end of the semester-aka times you don't care that they are trying to squeak by.  You do get a few good ones who put forth the effort.  I've used this time in the past to bring in students that need a talking to as well.  Generally in lower level courses but when I've flagged cheating or plagiarism I use this time to talk to the student face to face.  We'll talk more on this later, both in tips and as a particular horror story of mine.


Regardless of what method you use and how the semester goes, the best thing I can say is KEEP A PAPER TRAIL. If a student has an excuse, print out the email or photocopy it.  If you give extensions, write it down.  While you're grading, on your master sheet make note of what you accepted and what got half credit.  Post reminders on open lab times or office hours.  There will always be one student who will say "well my friend wrote basically the same thing on his test and got credit" or " I didn't know you had time for us to look at the specimens again!" Make sure if they run crying to the coordinator that you have something that shows, yes you did.  Then it's the coordinator's problem and likely WAY above your pay scale to deal with.  More on this next week!


"For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn--much."
W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman